Respect

Henry’s Corner December 2011 (1)

RESPECT

Dear Friends

Respect is a word that gets bandied about in this world and is a concept that is frequently cited as being central to human interactions, both with others and oneself. Hence it would be worthwhile for us to stop and ponder upon what this word actually signifies and the impact and consequences of the presence or lack of this quality in our lives especially as practitioners of Taekwon-Do.

There were a couple of incidents that I had heard of and encountered recently that spurred me onto writing about this concept here.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I had encouraged a young man who resides in my neighbourhood to go and observe an Il Shim Taekwon-Do class since he had expressed an interest in studying a martial art. He went to the Parramatta branch and along the way he stopped to ask someone who was instructing some form of fitness class where the exact location of the Taekwon-Do class was. To cut a long story short, this instructor attempted to stop this young man from taking up Taekwon-Do since he claimed he could teach him a different style of fighting that would be more effective in a combat situation and he proceeded to denigrate our art of Taekwon-Do. How base is this! Not only does this man lack an understanding of the efficacy of Taekwon-Do as an art of self defence but he has resorted to a tactic which shows no respect to others.

I am a member of the Lions Club and one of the principles we are taught to abide by is that in promoting our own business it is not necessary to tear down the business of others. Even as a commercial tactic it is not wise to disparage your competition since your motive will be transparent to your clients and you will lose credibility. There is nothing wrong with selling the merits of your own business but it is ethically wrong and commercially counterproductive to speak disrespectfully of your competition.

The second catalyst for this article is Master Daher’s answer to someone’s question at dinner a few days ago. He was asked by someone what Taekwon-Do was all about and he simply said it was about respect. I thought about this afterwards and felt that this was one nice way to sum up our art and spurred me on to contemplating the correlation between Taekwon-Do and the concept of respect.

So what is the meaning of respect? It is almost like asking people what the meaning of love is. Respect is a word that is oft-expressed but has a nebulous form in most people’s consciousness. Allow me to define it. RESPECT IS THE GENUINE INTEREST IN AND CARE FOR THE HUMANITY OF OTHERS. Hence, self-respect would be the recognition of the inherent worth we have as human beings and maintaining our dignity.

To respect someone is not about offering blind obedience or absolute submission. In essence, respect is a concept void of any hierarchy. Respect should not be confused with fear or deference. It is about equality and, ipso facto, is about mutual regard for each other. We respect noble qualities in others and their talents and achievements but we also respect their needs and their desires. We do not have to like someone or agree with their views to respect them. Respect is about acknowledging every human beings inalienable right to dignity and equal consideration. Respect is not about tolerance since tolerance is about forbearance and respect is about genuine caring and recognition of the worth and needs of others.

One of the lessons I never forgot from my course on the Theory of Diplomacy at university is that even when you are victorious you need to give the other side a face saving way out because, first of all, subjecting your opponent to humiliation shows no respect for their right to dignity. Secondly, if your opponent is humiliated you will have created an enemy who will not forget you. If you can show caring, compassion and respect in your victory you may be able to maintain peace and your opponent may accept their defeat as one chapter in their journey and they will respect you for the respect you have shown them. That is why in Taekwon-Do tournaments we need to show our opponents the respect they deserve. Even in victory we must demonstrate our noble qualities and acknowledge the worth of our opponents and if not share the prize, at least, celebrate our common efforts to advance the higher values of our art.

In Taekwon-Do respect is shared by all members as a vital element in achieving the goals of being champions of freedom and justice and building a more peaceful world. The student oath to respect the instructor and seniors is valid in the sense that students need to submit themselves to the instructions of their instructors and seniors in order to facilitate their learning but essentially respect should flow in every direction. This will maintain cohesion and a culture of goodwill where we can focus on using Taekwon-Do to create a better world.

Food will nourish your body but respect will nourish your heart!

P.S. Please do not hesitate to send me your thoughts to henry239@tpg.com.au